Here’s the thing about the word “n*gger” as ugly as it is, when used by a non-Black person, it says far more about the person using it than it does about the human being against whom it is lobbed. I have never once in all my years met a n*gger and neither have you. Just like other mythological creatures, the n*gger does not exist in the way non-Black people, and occasionally Black people who have internalized anti-Blackness to this degree, mean it when they try to use it to…

We have the Bechdel test for analyzing how women are portrayed in media; we need a similar test for how all kinds of Black people are portrayed. — Write about what you know. This is perhaps the best advice about creating art that one can get. You can’t create what you don’t know or understand or at least deeply seek to deeply understand. Sometimes the art is the understanding and other times it is the proof of attempting…

Unless you’re ready to defend racist beliefs — It happened as recently as a few weeks ago. Someone White, liberal, and who I generally agree with on many things, was discussing something relating to Blackness live on the local NPR station. She was explaining the difference between Roxbury, a Black neighborhood in Boston, Massachusetts which…

No one likes wearing masks because they are unpleasant and hard to breath in and make it hard to communicate with others, but they are not more unpleasant than getting seriously ill, dying or potentially exposing someone else to life threatening illness or death even if you don’t believe in the pandemic. — There are prices we pay for participation in society. We all agree to live amongst one another and that requires some set of shared rules, obligations and responsibilities. Some are formal like paying taxes and others informal, like cutting our lawns in a timely fashion. We do these things even…

I’m very good at pulling weeds up by their roots from the garden. And the truth is, I get a sort of strange physical pleasure from it. I make exceptions for anything that blossoms, especially if it’s yellow, but I’m very efficient. I know how soon to head out after…

A Reflection on Appropriation — I have a unique take on cultural appropriation. I know it’s unique because every time I raise it around people of color, they look at me like I have two heads. Many people of color don’t want White people wearing our clothes, using our hairstyles, generally using our style to…

Stop thanking me for being polite when I’m angry about injustice and focus on the injustice instead — So there is this “compliment” that well-meaning people lob at me when I write conscientiously about social ills that infuriate me. I write about something deeply painful, troubling and/or problematic in our society in my own fairly measured way that feels innate to me and is not in any way…

A brief reflection on an iconic lyric and a reminder that Black men and boys are beautiful too — In the 1994 remix of “One More Chance,” The Notorious B.I.G. lists in great detail his effortless finesse with women of all races and ethnicities. The classic cut samples El DeBarge’s “Stay With Me” and features his wife, Faith Evans, and Mary J. Blige on background vocals. It’s partly comical…

Your curiosity does not take precedence over another person’s comfort — Recently, a friend of mine asked me why people of color often get defensive when White people ask where they are from. She had a new friend whose heritage she was unsure of. She genuinely wanted to learn more about him and asked where he was from. Her question led…